As soon as you try to open the brown, wooden door, which leads to your room, you have a feeling that something is stuck behind the door. you push it harder and the door crack opens and the sight infront of you makes your mind messy. All the clothes you wore last week, lie on the floor like it is trying to make a pattern on a room floor. the desk has a tower made of stock of books, pens and pencils all over your desk and all the printed papers cover the whole desk. your bed sheets are the same as when you left the room. It was impossible to step further without stepping on something. you drag your feet to avoid breaking things with your feet.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
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2 comments:
You explained the door and when they were worn, etc. quite well. I can really imagine the door.
But I also think that you could have written more. To improve your writing you could explain how u felt and how the clothes that you wore the day before made a pattern. Also, you should check your spelling and capitalization.
Hungyu,
I like the way you talked about different things in the messy room. I think you could have expanded your description of the things in the room a lot more.
Good job!
Kaveen :)
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